Expect the Unexpected

It always seems that the second you begin to feel settled something else happens to shake the foundation. That is certainly the case for our family. We knew a year and a half ago that leaving the Army had both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, no more deployments, Trey's knees could have respite from daily PT, and we might feel more in control of our future. However, while in the Army we were guaranteed stable employment, comprehensive (although frustrating) health benefits, and a comfortable income. After listing both pros and cons, we knew the pros won and we prepared to begin the next chapter. After months of transition, job searching, and living with a sense of uncertainty we were thrilled to set up shop in Memphis ('burbs). We love our home, church, and neighborhood. BUT then the other shoe drops and we are back to job searching.

Those who know me well understand that transition is not my strong suit. I like stability and thrive in creating tiny adventures in an otherwise boring life. I have to refocus my energy every day and avoid my tendencies for self pity and nervous obsession with the "what if's." During a recent tantrum, I cried to Trey "I feel like our marriage has been one period of waiting after another. I just want stability!" Have I mentioned how incredible my husband is? Seriously, he is my perfect match and has the ability to bring me back to reality like no one else. He held my hand and said, "Lauren, we have stability. We are married and that's not changing. We are parents and that's not changing. We have supportive friends and family and that's not changing." So very true.

I don't know what is next for our family. Perhaps more tough times are headed our way. I don't know if we will continue establishing roots in Memphis or if life will lead us elsewhere. But...I have stability and am striving, with considerable effort some days, to take comfort in this fact.

Grandparents

Logan is a lucky little boy. Not only does he have two incredible (if I do say so myself...haha!) parents who worship the ground he walks on but he has wonderful grandparents. I wonder what a group of grandparents would be called; a gaggle, herd, mass?? We'll go with gaggle for now.

Recently, my parents and grandparents were highlighted in a newspaper article about grandparents. The author wrote about my mom driving back and forth from Conway, Arkansas to Savannah, Georgia to see Logan and help me out while Trey was in Iraq. The author talked about Logan calling my dad "Granddude." The article also discussed my grandparents repeating some of the most special acitivities they did with my brother and I with Logan. (ie. popping popcorn and watching football and basketball games). I grew up never doubting that I was loved. My biological grandparents and 2 stepgrandparents have influenced me (and continue to influence me). While many of my friends had grandparents scattered across the country or who were too feeble (or busy) to interact, my memories are "bustin' at the seams" with the gray hairs!

As I write this blog, my mother in law is running around her large yard with Logan in a wheelbarrow. I hear their combined shrieks of laughter and his yells "Go faster, Grand!" Trey's stepdad Phil has spent the morning repairing several fishing poles in the off chance we'll have time to take Logan fishing this afternoon.

Again, Logan is a very lucky boy...and Trey and I are grateful tenfold!

It's not night-night time...

I'm sitting at the computer checking email listening to my child protest bedtime. So far his excuses have included:

• It's not night-night time.
• I want my Banjo. (our dog)
• I want my Mojo. (our other dog)
• I need my daddy.
• Mommy, I'm awake!
• I want to read a monkey book.
• I need to go to Bear School. (what he calls his daycare)
• Mommy, Sweet P is talking on my phone to me.
• It's wake up time!
• Daddy say it's tickle time! (the only other time he knows)
• I not tired!
• My eyes are awake.
• MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!
• My door is closed. I need it open.
• I need chocolate in my milk.
• I want to go potty.

Seriously!? Surely he'll fall asleep soon. At least his pleas are humorous!

Our fantasy world...

Many of my favorite childhood memories are of times my imagination ran wild. I fondly remember a dear friend and I walking around the block brainstorming what would happen if an evil witch returned to our camp. We developed a game plan for combatting her terroristic threats that would make many heads of state jealous! I also remember spending hours designing tree forts, club houses, and forts in the woods. I sincerely hoped my parents would allow me to knock a hole in the wall of my closet to expand my room into the bathroom. Many plays were performed on our front porch and our kitchen chairs were easily converted into a train or the corners of a tent. We had tv, nintendo, and a VCR when I was young...it wasn't THAT long ago...but a majority of my memories don't involve those things. David and I also had toys that talked (ie. David's scary Teddy Ruxpin) or moved (a roller skating doll) but I preferred the toys or objects that could be whatever I dreamed. I once whittled a stick into a treeman and played with him for days!

I'm recounting these silly experiences today and wonder how I will ensure that Logan develops a healthy imagination, the ability to create fun, and to think outside the box. I want Logan to view our backyard as an ocean full of pirates, an African savannah, the wild west, etc. I love to watch Logan begin to stretch his fantasy legs. Below is a list of recent creative moments...allow me to brag for a second, but isn't that what this blog is all about!?

1. Logan told me he couldn't go "night night" because a "monster ate his bed."

2. While talking about my brother's upcoming visit, Logan said "I like Unc. He dances." - I don't remember recent incidents in which David danced for Logan...

3. Logan tells me he swims "like a pig."

4. Prepare yourself...this is perhaps my favorite moment ever...out of the blue, Logan said "I love you big big like a water tower." Collective awwwwwww...

5. Logan fell from the kitchen chair (while not sitting on his bottom like he was instructed) and then refused to walk for 15 minutes because "my legs break'ed."

6. He LOVES to construct complicated block castles, towers, and houses. (Then gets furious when one of our 4 legged beasts knock them over.)

7. We taught Logan to give us bear hugs awhile ago. Now he substitutes various animal sounds for frog hugs, bird hugs, bug hugs, etc.

8. He has begun to draw with purpose. His scribbles are, in fact, daddy or Banjo or his name.

Looking at this list, I feel initially proud...a little nervous that my kid may be psychotic (ha ha)...but still proud. I can't wait to see what is next in his development. I don't often evangelize but...God is good. Logan is proof of an amazing creation perfectly made for this family.

Squash

Logan and I planted a little vegetable garden in the spring. I have not inherited my Grandma Doris' green thumb so this was not only uncharacteristic but a true experiment. The previous owners had a small raised bed in the backyard in which they left zinnias and carrots. I'm sure there were other crops that simply died out. I jumped whole-heartedly into the project without doing my homework...as is my style. The bed is probably 3x6 and I planted the following: watermelon, pumpkin, zucchini, yellow squash, red lettuce, tomatoes, spinach, and bell peppers. Many of the plants were bought as little plants but many others were started as seeds in a little plastic greenhouse that I stored in the pantry. Trey has consistently made fun of my "farming" abilities and my precious crops. Logan hasn't had much interest after the initial planting...until recently.

While the spinach and watermelon have not done well, the yellow squash has taken over. I counted 45 blossoms a week ago and discovered more big yellow blossoms this morning. I like squash and know of a couple squash recipes but had hoped for more variety in our homegrown produce!

Logan has begun to pick the big squash when playing outside. I was initially excited by his interest but quickly learned that he doesn't see the squash as food but as a toy. Our squash have been colored on, thrown as a ball, floated in our little fountain, used as pretend musical instruments, wrapped in blankets and put "night-night", and used as a phone to call various family members. Logan and I even used the squash as models for still life drawings! Needless to say, Trey and I have given up wrestling Logan's precious treasures away from him and are laughing at what the imagination can do with a squash.

The bell peppers appear to have buds on them and we have a few very tiny tomatoes. It will be exciting to see how these veggies will be incorporated into our play!

I don't wanna grow up...

I've been holding onto Logan tight and haven't wanted to let him grow up. I didn't have trouble getting rid of the crib for the big bed but weaning from the pacifier (aka "the plug") and venturing away from diapers is killing me! Babies don't wear big boy underwear!

Last night Logan came into the living room and said "Mommy, I'm gonna need the plug." Trey and I burst out in laughter. I think it's time!

And the other clue that it's time for Logan to grow up came this weekend when he climbed under the table at a restaurant and said, "I hidin' and poopin'!" Yep...it's time.

I am still not ready but realize I have no choice in the matter. Logan is growing up and there isn't anything I can do about it. Grrr! I feel like it is all happening so fast! My mom has hinted that perhaps it's time for another baby. I would like nothing more but it isn't in the cards just yet. (unemployment and Trey's new career do not make for good conditions to add to the family) I think getting the new puppy was a bit of an effort to redirect my need to nurture a baby?? Trey may have to drag me kicking and screaming along the way, but we are going to let Logan be a big boy. No plug, no more diapers. (But, he'll still have Grover...)

Bodies are private

This morning was not unlike most mornings. In a rush to get out the door for daycare and work, I was losing patience with Logan. He was a naked bandit; running from one room to another, narrowly escaping my grasp. I kept yelling up the stairs "Logan, we have to get you dressed for school!" Finally I ran up the stairs and captured the little jaybird. I again said, "Logan, you have to get dressed for school." To which he replied, "No mommy, I will show Harry my penis." I chuckled quietly and continued to wrestle with him to get out the door on time.

On the way to daycare, I called mom, Trey, & Michelle to share Logan's comment. Mom laughed a lot. Trey was in class but texted back LOL. I know Michelle will laugh when she gets the message. I then started to think about the statement and began to panic a little. As a therapist, I've encouraged so many parents to start talking about Good touch/bad touch early. I've worked with kids that have been violated in ways I don't want to put on my family-friendly blog. So, I interrupted Logan's singing/screeching of "Kinkle, Kinkle, Little Tar." I told him "Logan, we don't show our penis to people and no one gets to touch your penis except for you, Mommy and Daddy during diaper time, and your doctor." He nodded and echoed, "doctor."

At daycare I shared the story with his teacher. I half hoped for a chuckle but also wanted to prepare her if Logan continued our conversation at school. She did not smile. She looked straight in my eyes and said "Oh, no. That is not acceptable." I nervously muttered some statement of agreement and awkwardly left for work.

In the car I started to panic. I imagined going to daycare and having a note to see the director. I envisioned being questioned about Logan's penis statement. I practiced explaining that I'm a therapist and have begun age appropriate discussions about boundaries and our bodies. I started thinking about ways to convince the daycare staff that my wild little man is not a perpetrator...

Ok, stop! Parenting has once again thrown me for a loop. We'll see if there is a note on the door when I pick him up. I hope all will be forgotten soon and then I can return to chuckling at, what was at one time this morning, a funny statement.