Friday, October 16, 2009

Expect the Unexpected





















It always seems that the second you begin to feel settled something else happens to shake the foundation. That is certainly the case for our family. We knew a year and a half ago that leaving the Army had both positive and negative consequences. On the positive side, no more deployments, Trey's knees could have respite from daily PT, and we might feel more in control of our future. However, while in the Army we were guaranteed stable employment, comprehensive (although frustrating) health benefits, and a comfortable income. After listing both pros and cons, we knew the pros won and we prepared to begin the next chapter. After months of transition, job searching, and living with a sense of uncertainty we were thrilled to set up shop in Memphis ('burbs). We love our home, church, and neighborhood. BUT then the other shoe drops and we are back to job searching.

Those who know me well understand that transition is not my strong suit. I like stability and thrive in creating tiny adventures in an otherwise boring life. I have to refocus my energy every day and avoid my tendencies for self pity and nervous obsession with the "what if's." During a recent tantrum, I cried to Trey "I feel like our marriage has been one period of waiting after another. I just want stability!" Have I mentioned how incredible my husband is? Seriously, he is my perfect match and has the ability to bring me back to reality like no one else. He held my hand and said, "Lauren, we have stability. We are married and that's not changing. We are parents and that's not changing. We have supportive friends and family and that's not changing." So very true.

I don't know what is next for our family. Perhaps more tough times are headed our way. I don't know if we will continue establishing roots in Memphis or if life will lead us elsewhere. But...I have stability and am striving, with considerable effort some days, to take comfort in this fact.